Angeline Ng.

life has been a never ending roller coaster ride for me, but all that's left for me to do is to gather my courage to continue riding this life.
What I don't know is, how much strength is left to support this broken heart.

Hold on

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable." - Bruce Lee

buried deep within
Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What do you do when someone you've feelings for doesn't feel the same way? Well, what CAN you do? It's like using a white crayon on a white piece of paper, it is marked, however invisible. This undesired scenario, is unfortunately very much prominent in college life. Nevertheless, you, yourself may face this particular matter. But, what are you able to do except to accept the bitter truth, to accept that someone who matter so much to you, gives no fucks bout your existence, someone that is on your mind day and night, has someone else in theirs, someone you think that is more than just a friend, feels that it's better off as friends. That immense pain that you have to endure, alone, and not slip a word to that person; The smile you have to fake to hide your sorrow; The act you have to put up to prove that it doesn't bother you. And what's worst of all, is that, that person is your best friend.

When he says he loves you, when he says he misses you, when he hugs you, when he says something that makes your heart skip a beat, as much as you want it to be true, want him to be serious, it isn't, he isn't. And you fight yourself in the dilemma to tell him your feelings or to not to, worrying just one thing - the friendship you've built. Well, "it's either you gain a relationship or lose a friendship", you HAVE to choose.

What tops it off is that he, has a girlfriend, whom he often complaints about to you. You're now expected to play your role as his best friend, speaking up for his girlfriend, encouraging him to not give up so easily, helping him to think of ideas to enlighten his girlfriend. At this point, pathetic is probably the only word you can describe yourself, cause despite all the effort you put in, his eyes will still be locked with the sight of his girlfriend.

But, if you really love someone, you just wish them happy. :)

..... but what if they're not happy with their other half?
1:08 AM

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Secrets - somethings that we wish no one would come to learn about. If someone ever denies that he or she has secrets, it has got to be lie. That's just cause, we all do, well, I do too. Secrets that I never told anyone about. It's not cause I'm afraid that they'll change their thoughts towards me or look at me differently and what not. It is just that I have yet to find someone I can fully entrust. To tell them my secret, it has got to be someone that wouldn't slip a word to anybody else, it has got to be someone I trust -

- There was this person, I did trust. And between us, there was definitely nothing to hide, well, that was for me. I need not pretend to be someone I'm not, I was... myself, only in front of this person (apart from my family members). This person knew everything about me, ALL of my thoughts, my family, everything. And for each thing that this person has told me, I had no doubts or second thoughts about it. I can say, I trusted this person 101%. But soon, I had to learn that no one is to be trusted, the hard way. Not that my secrets were out, but it was whatever this person had said to me. It no longer exist, it didn't mean a thing. All the promises, were broken. All the plans, were just wishful thinking. All the words are now so empty. - \

This is probably the reason to the untrusting me. Since then, trust? Whaaaaat? 

So, never make promises if you're not sure bout it, cause someone might be stupid enough to trust them. Talk is cheap, just so you know, actions are the ones that count. 
8:52 PM

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Random thoughts;

How I wish I'm able to read your mind. If so, everything will be so much easier. If so, I probably would have already made up my mind to give up on you, knowing that I was never on your mind.
But, isn't this life? With never ending doubts, assumptions and misinterpretations. 

If we were to be able to read anyone else's mind, there goes the adventure of life. 

With the guessing games going on continuously, does it bring excitement or plain confusion to our lives? 
6:42 PM

He, with the utmost alluring personality.
He, with a smile so flawless.
He, with such absurd humor.
He, is creeping into my heart                                                                                           Since when?
He, does not realize how he's always on my mind.
He, clueless that he gives me butterflies.
He, the cause of all my sleepless nights.                                                                                          

1:31 AM

Life, as it is.

Broken promises;
Endless lies;
Nonetheless, dramas.
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. :)